[Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links which means that I will earn a small commission from your purchases if you use these links, at no cost to you.]
We’ve all seen the influencers on social media who seem to always be happy and living the perfect life. Whilst a perfect life is not real, there absolutely is a way to become an optimist and start truly enjoying every single day. It might sound airy-fairy and woo-woo, but there are so many benefits to having a more positive mindset. Particularly if you tend to ‘naturally’ be more pessimistic. So here are some tips on how to become an optimist and transform your life.
Clear out your social media
Nowadays, we spend so much time on social media that it practically dictates our lives. Think about how you can feel either inspired or totally crushed after seeing just a few Instagram photos. This is why, if you’re looking to be more optimistic, you need to clear out your social media. Delete, unfollow, or block anyone that constantly posts about negative things or that only gossips about others. Do the same for anyone that promotes toxic positivity – this is equally as harmful. It would be a good idea to unfollow acquaintances, people you added on a whim, and others that you don’t really know all that well in order to give you some space on your feed for intentional follows.
The idea is to create room for things that you love. You should be following people and pages who inspire you, who are uplifting, and who post about things that you are interesting in. Some examples might be to follow a positive quotes page, or an account that posts cute dog videos. By making your social media feeds more positive, you will start seeing these positive messages every day which will, in turn, help your brain to think more positively.
If you tend to get lost scrolling on social media for hours every day, it might be useful to install an app that stops you from accessing certain social media sites. We have all got stuck scrolling through TikTok or Instagram before bed and it’s definitely not useful for your productivity levels or sleep! Being more optimistic doesn’t just come from outside sources. It’s also about how you feel about yourself. One way to feel better about yourself is to get things done and to spend your day doing things you love. This can be difficult if you constantly get distracted by social media. It could be useful for you to block these sites at first in order to rebuild your relationship with them.
Find one positive thing about each day
We all have days where it feels like nothing goes right and we go to bed feeling defeated. And whilst even optimists still have these days every so often, they are able to change their perspective on them more easily. A simple, easy thing to start doing is to find one positive thing about each day just before you go to sleep. The positive thing can be big or it can be small. For example, it could be that you finally did the washing up. Or it could be that you had the best time on holiday in the Bahamas. Or maybe your best friend sent you a kind message that morning. By focusing on the positive, it can change the way that we view the whole day. Think about the rose-tinted glasses effect.
It will probably be hard to begin with, especially if you’re extremely negative in general, or if you’re in a rough patch. But the more you practise, the better you’ll get at finding the positive. Soon, you will get to a point where you struggle to choose your one positive moment of the day! Often the days that you want to do it the least, are the days that you need to do it the most. Try it today and see how you feel after finding and celebrating your positive thing of the day.
Reframe your negative thoughts
We all have negative thoughts, that’s completely normal. What is frustrating, though, is when you constantly focus on these negative thoughts to the point where they affect your mood. We’ve all had those spirals of negativity that end up leaving us in a place of despair and doom. One way to try and combat the negativity in your head is to reframe your negative thoughts. For example, if one day you think “I’m terrible at cooking, I just can’t do it.” Try reframing this as “I’m still learning how to cook and I’m getting better each time I try. I’ve managed to make some dishes so I can do it, even if I’ve not yet mastered it.” By removing the extreme adjectives, such as “terrible”, “awful”, “the worst” etc, you immediately reduce the negative connotations. In order to reframe the negative thought, you have to look at the situation more objectively. You also have to be kind to yourself and give yourself credit where it’s due.
This is probably one of the most difficult things to do at first when trying to be more optimistic. It forces you to reconsider the way that you are thinking and the types of thoughts that you have. It takes a lot of self-awareness and courage to be able to identify the patterns that you fall into. You won’t immediately be able to reframe all of your negative thoughts. It will take quite a bit of time in order to get better at doing it. The first step really is to observe your own mental narrative and see what kinds of thoughts you have the most often. Then, you will be able to start changing and reframing those thoughts. Eventually, the more positive, objective thoughts will be your automatic mode.
Wake up grateful
One of the best ways to start your day on a positive note, is to wake up grateful. This means doing a gratitude practice early in the morning, not long after you get out of bed. The simplest of ways to start this is to think of three things every morning that you are grateful for. They could be basic things, like having food and water, or big things like your family and friends. Learning to be grateful for the things that you already have is a huge way of becoming more optimistic. You are training your brain to focus on the good things that are already in your life rather than focusing on what you lack. If you practise this often enough, you’ll soon find that you rarely think about the things that you don’t have. Your brain will simply acknowledge how lucky you are to have what you already have. Whilst this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t want more, it simply brings about more positivity to your day as you celebrate your life as it is.
You might find it helpful to buy a gratitude journal as a way to inspire yourself each day and to keep yourself accountable. Gratitude journals often come with prompts and spaces to write your intentions for the day. Here are some of my favourite ones:
If you’re stuck for ideas, have a read of my other blog post where I discuss how I’m becoming more grateful.
Appreciate the small things
It’s time to zoom in and think small! Since when have you appreciated the colour of the leaves on the tree outside your window? Or the taste of fresh strawberries? Or even the fact that your partner folded the laundry today? With our busy and stressful lives, we often overlook even the smallest of pleasures. If you want to make the biggest difference to your mindset and really become optimistic, then you have to appreciate the small things. We miss out on so many things because we are not actively looking for them. A great way to try to appreciate the little things is to go on a walk without your phone. Being outside without a distraction and without music will allow you to really focus on your surroundings. Look at everything you can. Pay attention to all of the things you hear. Notice anything you can smell as you walk around. Really feel the sun, or the wind, or the rain. This simple activity will dramatically improve your day. You will realise how incredible the world really is and you will start to see the beauty of nature.
Once you’re able to appreciate the smallest of things, you will appreciate the big things ten times more. The act of appreciating every part of our lives goes hand-in-hand with being grateful for these things. These two practices really do help to change your focus and therefore your thoughts onto something positive. You’ll quickly realise that this will put you in a better mood and help you stay calm in times of stress (think about grounding methods).
Accept that change is not easy
All of the points above mean making changes to your everyday life. And change is not easy. In fact, accepting change can be the hardest thing to do. First and foremost, you have to accept that change is not easy. That it takes a lot of time and effort. Once you’ve accepted that fact, then you can begin to start accepting change itself. And from there, you can begin making small changes. The key to it all is consistency and making sure that you keep going, no matter what. Eventually, the things mentioned in this post will become habits and you won’t need to think about them anymore. You can read my post on how to make habits stick, here.
Whilst change can be really uncomfortable, we must accept that it is the process of life. That life is change. And once we learn how to live with making changes, we can seriously transform our lives. Things will be so much better once you start living how you truly want to live. Being optimistic and hopeful sets you up for success for the rest of your life. It’s important to start changing your mindset now so that you can make all of your dreams a reality. After all, we create our own lives!
Hopefully by reading this post you have learnt how to become an optimist and transform your life – or at least the steps you need to take. With the world as it is, it’s more important than ever that we promote a positive mindset. We all could do with a ray of sunshine in our lives!
As always, leave any other tips you have in the comments below.
1 thought on “How to Become an Optimist and Transform Your Life”